I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
