My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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