Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
