If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
