Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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