Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
