I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
A+ Viking dick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize