I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
