did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize