...so i touched it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
