i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
