The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
