We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
