i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sobbing to NWA
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
