So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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