maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't think brook has ever known best
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
