Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize