Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize