Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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