come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
