Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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