i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
