Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
