Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
