Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
