theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
