i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
