Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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