i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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