Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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