dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
