Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
