we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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