im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
