i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
