Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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