if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
