Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
