We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
