he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
