Are we in a gay sports bar?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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