i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
