and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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