There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
