I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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