I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize