I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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