Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
