I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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