so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
