Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
