Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
