I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
