Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize