In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
