I wish i was in the wii world.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
MIDGETS
????
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