Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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