You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Congratulations! We have a period
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
