Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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