oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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