I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
