Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
