So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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