Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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