Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
