Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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