Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
