Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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