she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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