Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
