I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Boobs are out for the taking
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
