I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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