Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
