You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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