Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you inspire me to be a worse person
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You pole danced in your parka.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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