ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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