You really coming over, don't trick.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
