I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Can i not drive my cunt home
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
