When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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