My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize