So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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