ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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