Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
